The Closing Of A Chapter On An Addiction!
It might all sound nice and good. But it's that same angel who got you into that hell in the first place, hugging you temporarily as you take your next dose, just to throw you back in again into a deeper freezing hell than where you previously were.
And getting out is what you'd want when doing drugs. If not for quitting, then for reducing the ever growing dosage. Because the longer you take the drug, the higher your body's tolerance for that drug would become. Resulting in a continuous increase of the needed dosage, trying to reach that same euphoria you felt once before, and then descending even further to the point where you're just doing the drug merely to stop the pains of the withdrawals which would start kicking in real fast, and sometimes even reaching a point where they don't go away anymore.
I've seen some people that go into rehab on a monthly basis, just to clean up a bit so they can get the same high for cheaper. Because they simply couldn't afford their needed dosage anymore! Which is CRAZY
Not all drugs are the same for sure, and each has its degree of negative effect and addiction levels.
There's a specific kind of drug that I had in mind when talking about drugs in this topic, however. It's a well known drug called Heroin.
During the years, I came across many people who got stuck with this curse. Seen how they destroy themselves, how their entire life becomes revolving around getting that next hit.
I've seen some decent people get to the point where they start selling everything they once had, degenerating into a total chaos, to the point where they start scamming, stealing, or even kill a human being, just to aquire the needed money so they can get their fix.
Even though getting out isn't as easy as one might think, it's not impossible, however. With the right mindset and the right timing, addiction to that god forsaken drug can be overcome.
Around these same days, about 10 years ago I've made a great decision, took the right step in the right direction. And it's somewhat of an anniversary talk right now.
By my early 20s I've already been into various things, from smoking to drinking and doing all kinds of things. Including but not limited to what we're talking about here.
I've never personally lost control over myself, really, despite what you might think considering what I just said, but I've seen many that have. And eventually, when the right time came with the right mindset, I finally decided that it was enough, and it was time to get out.
Not to say the way I did it would be the best for everyone, but how I did it was what they call cold-turkey. "Suddenly quitting everything all at once" that is.
I remember vividly the hell that went on for weeks. The first 2 weeks were the hardest as the withdrawal was at its peak, it was like a super strong flu feeling though it wasn't the hard part.
Being unable to sleep or stay still, unsure if it's super freezing weather or is it a burning hell, so cold and burning at the same time. An electrical current sensation that flows through your body building up and moving around every part, until it shocks you as you almost start falling asleep from exhaustion, making you jump up and start the process all over again.
The only thing you'd have on mind is what if I'd do one more hit. Like magic, all of your pains and aches would once again just disappear.
As days went by, collapsing for few minutes here and there, I didn't really see how it was getting better at the time, especially the feeling cold part, which personally I had to suffer with for a prolonged period of time. It was probably more psychological but even years after the fact, I kept feeling the cold chills sometimes and my inner thermostat got screwy even during summer times.
I can go on and on about the withdrawal symptoms, the physical and psychological ones of that diabolic drug, but it's all listed all over the internet so I won't delve into those details.
The real struggle wasn't the chills or the weeks of sleepless nights and restlessness all the time, even though till this day when I'm talking about it I can still feel it if I focus on it. No, the real struggle was taking the hard decision between staying as I were or cutting off ties with most of my close friends that I've known for years.
Yes, that's right! If you really want to really get out, you have to quit whatever can pull you back into that vicious cycle. Whether it being habits, places, or even people that are related to the drug use.
A neglected fact that many overlook when talking about quitting drugs, but it's the most essential thing to do.
I remember making up my mind, but delaying that decision just to see how things might play out, hoping that I can manage to keep the friendships without sharing some of the "same interests" anymore. A logical reasoning at the time, as we don't have to share 100% of our interests to be friends with someone. But as soon as I met up with a friend who we had a long history together, the impossibility of the situation became very apparent.
And it was a choice that had to be made, right then and there. Either dive right back into it as most other people who try to quit relapse and do due to friends. Or cut the ties and stay fully determined to change the course.
Uneasy as it might be, the choice has been made, and I've been "clean" ever since, and never looked back.
10 years or so and going strong, it's all just history now.
It doesn't matter if we do something that we shouldn't have done. All are experiences that shape who we are and can teach us and make us better human beings, the real problem is if we stay in the wrong, and not try to fix or improve.
So if someone is in such a position in their life right now, the only thing I can say to you is get out!
It will be worth it, and it will be the best choice you've ever had.
All it takes is strong will and determination, and in return you'll end up with a better life to have.
And for those that are lucky to never have even tried it before. NEVER TRY! Everyone thinks they will simply try, just to get pulled in. Yes, you won't have negative effects the first few times maybe, but that's how you get sucked in gradually, without you even realizing.
Thank you all for reading, this whole story may or may not have happened with me. The purpose of it, is just to give motivation to those who might need it and think it's impossible without help to get out.
If I can do it, so can you!
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© 2022 @yaziris.
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🥺That's it, This right here to be honest.
Beautifully written Yaz! Well written❤️🤗
Hmm.. I wonder what have you done 🤔
Thanks for shedding a tear 🥲 you deserve a slice of !PIZZA for that!
Oh Nothing, I'm an angel, too sweet😇
Oh Yummy! 🍕🍕
I knew you had a dark side...haha
Glad that its history now...proud of this, I have a cousin who can't just quit, he tried it like hundred of times but eventually give up on himself, it's sad to see that happen.
You're fooling no one with this...lol
Btw, It was beautifully written, you should give me some lessons for develping the writing skills.
I wonder what made you think I might have a dark side. 🤔 That was a bright-ish side of my fictional character.
It's sad to see that happen with your cousin, but believe me, it's just not the right time for him then. Your cousin will probably do it when it's the right time. If not fully prepared mentally, it would be impossible, and no one really can help with that but himself.I dunno whatchu talkin' about 🙄
Haha, thanks for the compliment. My writing skills are hovering right at the zero level. 😋
!PIZZA back at ya.
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Dude. I know exactly what you are going through.
I quit by lighting smokes for my mates back then while I was going through withdrawals.
I conquered what we call the white lady calls by staring it in the eye and asking her to f off.
It's tough but doable. All about that determination and strong will!
"The white lady" can f off indeed!
Thank you for reading and for your comment!
You're most welcome dude.
!PIZZA for you too
Hi @yaziris. This is deep. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. It takes bravery and courage to take that step of saying goodbye to drugs and moving onto clean living. You are brave!
Appreciate the kind words. Nothing is impossible with the right mindset and determination.
Thanks for stopping by.
Hello, this write up is beautiful, thanks for sharing.
What is someone who's in the process of overcoming an addition suddenly falls back to it, does this mean he has failed??
I wouldn't say they have "failed". Maybe they weren't properly prepared.
And why think of failure as a bad thing? They can see why they have faild and learn from it, then avoid that the next time they try. 😉